Growing up in Southern California I live a privileged life of being surrounded by incredible Mexican food. Yet for some reason I am driven by the insatiable craving for Taco Bell. I can’t remember the last time I honestly went a week without getting some magically delicious abomination of the culinary arts off of their menu and I am not embarrassed about that in the least. So you can imagine my delight when i found out that my favorite discontinued sauce was available in grocery stores. 

You see when Baja Sauce was discontinued all those years ago I literally tried to start a petition to bring it back (which I failed miserably at). Sure now you can get “spicy ranch” or “creamy jalapeño” but nothing was as good as the holy grail of Taco Bell sauces… Baja Sauce. 

As part of my dedication to The Bell I am quite frequently on the Taco Bell subreddit. It was there on one magical day that I saw it, I saw the picture posted by someone in the mid-west… Baja Sauce bottled and available direct from Amazon. So I did what any sane person would do, I bought the remainder of what they had in stock (two bottles which expire in late 2019). Then i waited for what felt like decades for this nectar of the gods to arrive and then it happened it was at my door.

As I peeled back the label and eagerly dug my finger in ready for a taste, ready to be transported back to a better time, a sweeter time, a more delicious time somewhere outside the bun. And then…

MOTHER FUCKING MAYONNAISE… it tasted like over glorified mayonnaise with weird salmon color chunks in it. Had my tastebuds entered some altered dimension!?? What the hell was going on here??!

So i jumped back on to reddit to read some responses to the original post and sure as shit I am not alone. Other fans of Baja felt the same way. This Kraft Heinz BS is a fraud. Bottled disappointment hidden behind the veil of nostalgia and the glorious name Baja Sauce. “If you add hot sauce to it it’s better” someone said in the forums, YEAH NO SHIT?!? What isn’t better with hot sauce?!? Anyways here’s my review:

Taco Bell Baja Sauce (Kraft Heinz Company):

Taste:  ⭐️ (⭐️⭐️ with Hot Sauce hey when you right, you’re right guy on reddit but make sure to use Diablo Sauce)

Functionality / Use Ability: ⭐️

Look: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Disappointment that its not actually Baja Sauce: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Stay tuned as I continue my search for the holy grail of sauces. Also never forget, Ranch Sucks!